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My CIA handlers are making me do this. Apparently if I want to become an uberfamous megachurch preacher, I need to find a complimentary partner to pair up with and become an unstoppable superhero duo. Only thing is, I got brain problems, so while I'm able to shit out epic poetry by the kilometer and juggle at supersonic speeds, I can't do a talk to save my life. And that's not true at all! I guess I got lingering trauma from when I was a doofus. I can hold down a conversation well enough, I just get really critical of myself because when I don't know what to say, I default to absurdist humor. I mean, I can make you laugh, at least. Just not good at choosing the topics and being confident with my answers. So, how about you choose the topic of our first conversation? Deep topics, shallow topics, hot topics, it's whatever man. Just know that the CIA is really putting me up to this and oh God, they're watching through my webcam. Get the duct tape!
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