It’s that time of year again. Seasonal allergies are starting to show up and you never know if it will be hot or cold that day. I am looking for someone to vent my mundane troubles too, someone that I know would be there to help with whatever may come up, and someone that I can laugh with, someone to cry with, someone that would just run with a crazy idea without hesitation.

And what do I have to offer you may ask? Well, it is none other than the Spring cuddle package! To make sure that this is the right package for you, I have a few questions! Would you be looking for a person with a mohawk that is forever changing colors? How about a dad bod that is great for cuddling a keeping warm, and is strong at the same time? What if said dad bod had a few tattoos and piercings? What if he is finding more grey hairs in his neatly trimmed beard, but is embracing the fact that he is becoming a silver fox? What if he has a charming Southern accent and is fork lift certified? What if he enjoys helping turtles cross the road and is currently a cat dad to a very lovable void?

But wait! There’s more! For a limited time, I can include the nerdy outdoors man package! With this package, you will get someone who will happily venture out into the pollen filled wasteland commonly known as “outside” This package will include and is not limited to going on nice hikes and floating down rivers. Trips to the store to look at plants, and planting those plants. How about a late night bon fire and huddling together for warmth? What about the nerdy part of this package you ask? Well, say no more! Would you enjoy watching a guy looking very intense while building a NASA themed Lego set? Would you want to get up to an ungodly amount of tom foolery while in a DnD campaign? How about staying up late cuddled on the couch and watching sci fi and b horror movies? Do you want to play rock paper scissors to see who gets to play the PS5? Would you want to co-op on a Mario game? How about dressing up and going to a ren fair? What if I pranced around the house in my kilt? How about staying up late and going down the rabbit hole that is the weird side of youtube? If this part of the package catches your attention, I will get the blanket fort, movies, and snacks set up!

Let’s beat back those seasonal allergies! Act now while supplies last!