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31 [M4F] California/Anywhere - If Good Titles Were Worth Money, I'd Be Broke.
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Author Summary
handjokazooie is a male age 31 looking for a female in California
Post Body

In an instant, my mind melted as I tried to put words together in a way that seemed alluring and memorable. I can easily tell you about how a nosy pepper can get jalapeño business but there needs to more finesse. There needs to be more to this than looking at a cow with no legs and calling it "ground beef." Even knowing that a vampire's favorite fruit is a nectarine isn't enough. I just don't want any confusion, you know? Like that time that dyslexic zombie kept calling me "Brian." There needs to be more to all of this but I can't quite put my finger on it. Or in it. Maybe two fingers would be better.

What am I looking for? Probably my glasses. Which is a hell in itself because I can't see without my glasses but I can't find what helps me see so I'm just fumbling around looking for them and hoping to god that they're on my bed but they aren't.

What else am I looking for? Someone I like to talk to. Someone wanting to build something with. Someone to share my day with. I hate these dating apps because it makes me feel so hollow. I don't want kids but I am open to them. Trying to get myself back out there is difficult but I'm trying to stay positive, y'know?

I have adventures in nothing and I can tell you tales of...well, also nothing. I promise it's much more entertaining than it sounds. The mundane, for me, is just...chaotic? I can't explain why the strange follows me but it do. Oh boy, do it do.

When I'm not being dramatic, I like to draw, write, and play video games. These are not requirements for a person I'm seeking. These are simply what I like. I've gotten flak for these things before and I didn't have a rolled up newspaper so I just ignored it. Almost booped the hell out of them, though, for being so rude.

I'm single, handsome, blue skinned, tall, tan, and illiterate but the good kind of illiterate. Only one of those is a lie. I also have that fun uncle bod. Not a dad bod. I think it's chubbier. I make it werk. It's definitely the pizza. Like that one weird pizza I had the other day. I still ate it but it wasn't great. Sketchy Pizza Eater. I'm also currently a student full time and it's annoying but thankfully I'm on my break. To answer your question as to why this age and school, it's because life happened. Bonus points if you can guess the wrong reason.

If you're skimming this, I see you. I probably would as well. What you need to know is me want talk. You send message me? Me like that. Me make you laugh. You tell day me? Me listen. Me get distracted. Me listening, me swear!

Anyway, hoping to hear something. Send me a picture of you for science. Have a great day!

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Profile updated: 15 hours ago
Posts updated: 10 months ago

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They Are
a male
Age
31
Looking For
a female
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Posted
11 months ago