Since last year, and over the past couple of months, my husband and I had discussed opening up our marriage for me to be polyamorous. When I started looking for partners, we were in a poly-mono sort of relationship. In the process of me looking for potential partners, we became closer. It's been wonderful. Lately, these past few weeks, I've encouraged him, and told him, that if he wants to look for other partners, I'm okay with it as well. He started off on Tinder and matched with some nice girls. The first one he matched with seemed to like him a lot, but before he got the chance to tell her he was poly, she cursed him out, called him a slimeball, even went as far as finding my personal Facebook account and messaging me. His feelings were hurt because he actually liked her-she changed her mind and started talking to him again(which I have my own reservations about) . Lesson learned, he changed his tinder profile to reflect the polyamory, and the next girl her matched with, it was the first thing he told her. And she stayed. They've been talking for a little bit now, and you can tell they are really feeling each other. I could totally see her being his intimate partner.

Y'all. They think alike, they talk alike, they even text the same way with the weirdly adorable misspellings. His face lights up when he talks about her. He's blossomed in ways I hadn't expected. I cried happy tears when he showed me her texts about how she felt about him. Like literal HAPPY TEARS. I was so happy for him. I recognize this feeling to be some sort of compersion.

But then, followed by those happy feelings, was this huge empty feeling. The thought that kept popping up in my head was that I wanted to find someone like that too. I've heard a lot that it's usually harder for the men who are polyamorous to find additional partners. But lately I've been wondering if it's the opposite. I feel like I can't attract anyone more than an occasional douche bag, or the guy who gets bored when I'm not interested in sending nudes.

Just the other day, someone here on reddit messaged me. He seemed really nice and sweet, we chatted for a bit and when I went to reply to the next message he sent me, he had deleted his account. I've been ghosted plenty of times. I already know that the female side of the dating pool is shallow for me simply because I'm married, and to a man. But not having any decent conversations with the men I match with if leaving me feeling like an undesirable.

I don't know what to do, or how to feel. Am I approaching this the wrong way?