If I tell my partner "I cannot be with you if you decide to date xyz person", would that constitute a boundary or an ultimatum? Say, if they decide to date someone who made a racist remark. Or if they decide to keep seeing someone who was openly cruel to me (called me names for instance) during a mental health episode. I know that boundaries are about how you respond to a situation and not about controlling another. And from what I know, asking someone to choose between yourself and another partner would constitute an ultimatum. But if my boundary consists of saying "I can't date you if you date xyz person", which one would it be?