Part dating in the year 2024, part polyamory question. How do you endure the heart ache and disappointment? I’ve started dating recently, perhaps too recent from my divorce which is not yet final.

Started on apps. Lots of excitement in the beginning, lots of disappointment after hours of messages and communication.

Sometimes the first meeting is rescheduled or just cancelled after weeks of enjoyable communication.

Sometimes the interest is shut down immediately once poly or divorce underway is discussed.

I’ve had some wonderful exchanges and overall really enjoyed meeting people but recently had a breakup with a relationship that lasted a few months and two more relationships I was so excited about have seemed to become less a possibility as the women I was talking to are communicating interest in meeting “hello yeahs” and “ok let me get back to you”, but then they don’t.

The most recent cancellation was Tuesday. I decided to keep the “date night” and spent it dating myself. Had a pretty good time but now I’m back to feeling a lot of frustration and disappointment with how much went into each one of these potential relationships only to lead to this.

I realize the poly subreddit is possible the last place to look for encouraging. Likely going to hear how I’m doing it all wrong, not doing poly, need to grow up… bla bla bla, but at 44 it is feeling pretty hopeless at the moment.

My more clear headed self is saying, build self esteem through hobbies and self nurturing activities. Try meeting people in public rather than online.

It’s so wild how I can literally be on top of the world with optimism five days ago, and in the span of a few days be trying to resign to the possibility I won’t be able to live the relationship model I want with people I love and love me back.

So the questions:

Do you experience these multiple breakup and/ disappointments often? Is this goes with the territory type stuff?

What do you do to pick yourself back up?

How do you carry on?