I am in a poly relationship with a married couple. It started out as me dating both of them. Then I guess I upset the husband and he just kinda disconnected and shut down on me. Which is fine. We are still friends. I am very much in love with the wife. I absolutely adore her. But the situation is just all new to me and I am struggling on where I fit. I think she loves me in return.

She has a lot of background trauma that is super heavy and absolutely horrible. Her communication is terrible and is either happy or pissed off. I have to decode everything she says.

What set me off in my head tonight was supposed to be a good evening with them and another couple. Dinner went well and then we had plans to go to this festival on the river. I immediately get out of my car because I drove separate and they all hold hands as couples. Im just lagging behind with my kid like a puppy. It felt horrible. Like, I wasn't important enough in their lives to acknowledge me.

They just all kept talking and laughing. Not including me in any conversation. Talking about this big trip to TN they are all going on, which I was not invited to. Talking about all these plans and things they want to do together. But none of these plans ever included me. Like, I was a convenience. It felt like I was only useful to them when the husband is working. I am someone to fill space.

If I bring up any of my feelings its immediately turned around on me and invalidated like I am trying to cause problems or a fight. When I just want them to know how it feels on this end and to just.....listen.

I know this all sounds so negative and I promise its not all negative. There are some positives there. But this is super hard and I clearly do not know what I am doing. I want to also add that thry are swingers as well and are basically trying to bed this other couple.