I (mtf, 23) have been dating Paul (M, 28) for about three months now. He’s amazing in so many ways: blunt, thoughtful, nurturing, smart, loving (I could go on). The label we use is GF / BF / partner. This my first serious relationship / first time having someone tell me they love me. Not new to poly however by any means.
Paul also has another GF / partner Sarah (f, 29) who he’s been off and on with for the past 4 years. She’s a professional fembom and they historically have a bit of tumultuous relationship (according to him / his friends) She is usually standoffish and is avoidant with most. They’re not new to poly either but this is the first time he’s had another serious relationship while having one with someone else
Her, him and I have increasingly hung out. She speaks highly of me and he was surprised because “she doesn’t like anyone” We’ve even had a couple threesomes which were very fun) I worry though that this integration may cause trouble down the line.
Recently, when him and I had sex (topping me for the first time) he came for the first time in months and came inside me (an indescribable experience). we said I love you and cuddled for a long time after, utter bliss.
A couple days later he told me that “Sarah doesn’t like when I cum with other people” and if I do I get sexually punished (not considered cheating for them). I let him know I didn’t want to go back / wanted to make that decision for our relationship together rather than from outside request. He fully agreed and wants me to “be the only exception.” We both agreed to all sit down and talk it out. He also said she will most likely want something special they only do (he offered the same to me).
I’m just very nervous, I’m worried the stress will cause him to end things with me or that she’ll ask for something I dont wanna compromise on. I’m scared to mess this up. All tips would be appreciated