Hello everyone!

Aboute a year ago I (32m) found out that I'm poly and I'm in monogamous relationship with my wife that I've been togeather with for 12y.

I'm sure that as many others, before they understood themself, felt horrible about haveing feelings for other than their partner. I've done the same for myself but finding out about polyamory and understanding what it is have been a "aureka" or "a-ha!" Moment for me, I could look back at my life and really understand why I was in love with multiple people at the same time.

I love my wife, we have two kids and I feel very happy. But I still have crushes, I've had a crush on another almost as many years as me and my wife have been togeather. It's made me question my relationship with my wife so many times before I found out I was Poly. This crush have made a deep rift in our relationship as it's one of her very close friends. My wife is not ploy and when she found out about my crush on her friend we almost broke up. I've never loved her any less, we worked on our relationship and we are still married.

When I found out I was poly I told my wife and she didnt understand how you could be in love with more than 1 person at the time. At first she got more insecure but I did my best to make sure I love her just as much as before. She dont want to talk about this anymore and I respect that, she is not poly and it's difficult for her to think that her husband might fall inlove with somone else. She asked me why I told her this and I told it was to understand me better and also I've come to understand myself better.

Who else is in the same situation where you are poly but in a monogamous relationship? How have you helped your partner understand you better?

I'm curious to hear what you have been through!