Every time na may natatapos na connection sa buhay ko, or a relationship, regardless if sino samin ang mali, I tend to go on this pattern of dettaching from social media. I recently uninstalled my Facebook and Instagram apps though I still have Instagram sa other less used phone ko to check on memes for a quick dopamine release.

The thing is, I tend to dettach from everyone and everything. It feels like I need to punish myself every time a connection ends be it romantic or platonic. But at the same time, I feel like I'm allowing myself to breathe by uninstalling certain mediums for social interactions.

My mindset is, regardless kung sino yung mali, gusto ko akuin lahat ng maling nangyari— kahit panloloko, or even betrayal. Because I believe na the reason for their betrayal is maybe may nagawa ako or what. It's not really a healthy mindset, I know. But it's just so hard to disconnect from that mindset.

Why? Because I want the other person, again, even if sila yung mali, to live their life in peace for the price of mine.

As a 20-year old boy, I feel like I am too hard and unforgiving for myself.