I deleted our chat I know you don’t really have anything to say to me anyway, I really have let go and I really hope you can believe that. I started talking to a few people. I downloaded Tinder on my phone again. My mom says I shouldn’t but every time we get into an argument, she makes it a point that she has a partner that helps her and I don’t have a partner that helps me I got pretty emotional today I’m tired you don’t have any idea how it feels like your kids are just being ripped away from you and put somewhere and then it’s like you can’t even see them or talk to them when you want to because you just can’t it doesn’t work around your schedule it works around whoever schedule who has them It’s really tough and makes it really hard to feel like you’re a good parent or to feel like you spend enough time with your kids and talking on the phone only does so much and every time you call your mom she yells at you about money tells you you’re making bad decisions sometimes it’s so hard to be close with my mom but I try so hard to try to understand where she’s coming from and I do understand where she’s coming from but it feels like she doesn’t understand where I’m coming from and she doesn’t understand that it doesn’t feel like she’s putting any effort in and it doesn’t feel like she doesn’t care about how much I see the kids or how they see me Doesn’t feel like she cares about any of that when she doesn’t really put the effort in to be like hey we’re not doing anything this weekend. If you’re not busy come down every time I ask it’s he don’t come to my house I don’t want people there or every time I even try to bring something up it’s always I don’t want people there. The house is a mess. It’s always the same thing so it’s always hard to ask questions when you always feel like you’re getting the same answer. I wish I had somebody to talk to about the stuff I shouldn’t. I miss my therapy appointment.