I'm seeing a common trend in a lot of responses here that I think are quite concerning and should be talked about more and called out more when its seen.

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I’m long winded in my replies and this post will be no exception.

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I think nearly everyone on this sub could talk at length about their individual journey into the ENM lifestyle, what it means to them and how it affects their lives in various ways.

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I also think that if everyone did this, NO ONE would be posting the same story. We all started dabbling in this lifestyle for slightly different reasons and everyone’s unique situation has molded their interpretation and feelings on ENM as a whole. .

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I think it's important that we all remember that none of us have finished writing our story. We all learn and we all grow. We all make mistakes and we all have different ways of approaching problems in our own very unique lives.

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As a whole, we face judgement from the people all the time that dont understand ethical nonmonogamy. A lot of posters and commenters here dont have IRL people they feel comfortable talking to about this stuff with or dont have anyone that can actually relate or would even be accepting.

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People come here for acceptance and advice. We’re not a porn sub. People dont come here for that quick reddit dopamine kink fix. They come here to learn, ask questions and feel safe to express themselves and discuss their journey.

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When someone posts something here that you dont agree with, thats completely OK. ENM is such a HUGE umbrella of various forms of sexual identity and activity that it would be impossible for every single person to think and feel the exact same way about everything ENM-related.

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That’s the best part of this sub. The similarities AND the differences in everyone's story.

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I’m urging everyone to just leave all the judgement at the door when you come to this sub. There’s nothing wrong with expressing your disagreement with someone who practices ENM differently than you do, but its not hard to do that in a respectful way that opens a mutual, beneficial and most importantly, inclusive, dialogue.

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There’s no excuse for sidelining someone because of their lack of knowledge or if you dont feel that their particular flavor of ENM is appealing. There’s no excuse for letting it happen either without calling it out.

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No one that comes to this sub honestly and is ethical in their situation is doing anything WRONG. It might be DIFFERENT than what you’re comfortable with but that is completely OK and some of you really need to knock off the immature, and most importantly, non inclusive gatekeeping. That’s a dick thing to do anywhere but its a double dick move to do it in a support sub like this.

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Be the ally that you know you can be and genuinely appreciate the little snippets of people’s stories that you’re allowed to read.

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tl/dr - a small but loud portion of you guys are kind of dicks to people….you should try not doing that.