Hi all,

My (33M) wife (32F) opened our marriage and, despite a rocky start, are in a healthy place with it. She has been exploring many different partners and experiences to get an idea of what she wants. Our relationship is thriving overall.

Recently she proposed the idea of creating a safe space in our home (in the basement) to meet with select, trusted partners. For some reason, this is very difficult for me to accept, and I’m trying to understand why.

I know there are pros to it, because right now there are certain FWB relationships she can only meet in cars or hotels. It would cut down on any travel time, obviously. But I’m struggling with the idea of her having sex with someone else in my house, especially if I’m just upstairs. Up until now we’ve kept the two worlds separate, and she assures me I wouldn’t hear anything. I want to be comfortable with it, but I still can’t get my head around it and I’m trying to figure out why.

Obviously this is something to talk through with a licensed professional, but I still haven’t managed to find one that fits our needs and schedule (we’re only about a month in).

Just looking for advice or clues as to why this particular issue feels so tough to get past. Thanks so much!