It’s my understanding (and I might be wrong here) that «poly under duress» - PUD - was first ment to mean someone being forced or coerced into polyamory in a relationship they couldn’t easily end, usually because of being overly reliant of the other, wether that was due to health issues, financial power imbalance, living abroad and lacking network etc.

These days it seems to be that PUD has taken on a meaning of reluctantly entering polyamory (or non-monogamy), where someone agrees to open up in order to be able to stay with the person or out of some people pleasing trait in them.

Do we need more nuanced language to separate the two? Or does it not matter as long as the result - pain - is the same? Is the pain the main part of «under duress»? Is it under duress if you are simply making a choice you are not thrilled about? Is anything that is not an enthusiastically yes automatically under duress? Is an incompatibility under duress? Where do you draw the line for when something becomes under duress?

These are things I’m pondering this morning.

What does «under duress» mean to you?