My husband (39M) and I (34F) have opened our marriage for less than a year now and we have the classical problem that I get a lot of guys interested in having just sex with me, and he basically is not getting anything. I know the biggest reason “why” that is: we didn’t put our faces on our online profiles, because we’re worried about the info of our open marriage getting out (being recognised) and it bringing problems to our social lives and our careers (especially mine), etc… most women won’t swipe right on a guy's profile without a face, I understand that. On the other hand, the guys that are interested in me don’t seem very interesting because they want very shallow physical-only stuff, not to really get to know me, and I'm polyromantic. Then I think it all lacks some psychological spice, you know?

In the beginning of the year we were agreeing to some rules to opening up and one of them was kinda to not get involved with friends, I guess we were trying to follow the common sense like not getting involved with your coworkers, etc… some friends (the ones that are couples and families) I’m pretty sure wouldn’t receive the news of our marriage being open well and it could cause problems and even bigger if they would tell others… But since my husband is not getting basically any matches on apps, he has ended up telling 2 of his female friends: one single mom (that apparently hasn’t had any sex in years) and a woman that had just separated from the father of her kids… I wasn’t too worried about him telling them because the single mom is very antisocial for example and I think both of them don't really chat with the other friends, I don't think they'll be telling anyone.

I've always been a flirty person and my husband knew about that way before deciding to marry me, he had even made jokes about me being with his single friends before we opened up. He has a friend (let's call him Igor) that he plays sports with once or twice a week and I've always been quite attracted to Igor, and flirted with him a little bit, including in front of my husband. A couple months ago I asked to go to Igor's house to watch a series with him/ spend the evening eating, chatting and discussing the series. Hubby said kinda joking that I wasn't supposed to have sex with him then. I wasn't intending on doing that, so I didn't try to gauge if he meant it or if he was teasing me, I just said "of course" and proceeded to have a wonderful platonic evening with Igor.

We all live in a country that it's common for single guys to stay single and not have much going on in their love/sex lives and for some reason that really bothers me. I think it's such a waste for Igor to stay alone, if I may be crass with an analogy: it's like as if your favourite dish is being displayed for everybody and the cook is saying "if nobody wants to eat this meal, I'll have to discard it" and I'm eagerly looking all around to see if anyone will take it but nobody does and I can't ask for it because I'm his *friend's wife*, do you guys understand what I mean?

I'm agreeing on going to Igor's house again next week and I've been wondering a lot if I should flirt with him further, if I should sit down with my husband and chat (this time seriously) if I could have something with one of his friends or if that's really off limits...