34f here. Had a successful first date which commenced with sexy times last night w a 31m. We’re both in committed long term primary relationships.

We had great chemistry, great sex, and he said very affirming things.

Problem is? He’s very early on in ENM, I get the sense he’s doing the safeguarding emotions thing, and he also was upfront with struggling with past religious guilt. He also said he “couldn’t commit to anything long term” so I’m fearful I may have come across as if I’m looking for more than I truly am. I’m looking for a true fwb, nothing more really. But I still appreciate the day after text.

He kinda bolted immediately after the sex, not much for post sex pillow talk or cuddles. Guess I gotta be more communicative about my need for aftercare. This tends to leave me feeling: a bit empty.

Normally IDGAF about gender norms re: initiating comms, or playing the timing game: I typically wear my heart on my sleeve and tell folks what’s on my mind when I like them/enjoyed myself.

Now I’m sitting here going: why haven’t I heard from him? Did I do something wrong? Did I come on too strong? Is he panicking due to being an ENM noob? — I’m not sure I have capacity to date someone who’s still in the figuring it out phase.

I don’t want to spiral out about why I haven’t heard from him yet though. Who should text first?