Me (F31) and my partner (M29) are fairly new to ENM - we've been dating in parallel for 6 months. It's going well. We're having a lot of fun(!) and I'm seeing it as an opportunity for self development and practicing emotional regulation.

Here's the thing.. I can't stop thinking about my partner with his FWB. I keep imagining the things they could be doing together, the dynamic between them, wondering what the sex is like.

I've done a lot of work on unpacking my jealousy and, while it's still a work in progress, I'm actually happy that my partner is having fun with someone else! I'm starting to wonder whether it's more of a very strong curiosity.. I'm wondering if it'll actually be the hottest thing ever to witness?!

I guess my question is - for those that DO get turned on by their partner's exploits - did you know up front that you'd love seeing it, or was it still a mix of emotions? What questions can I ask myself to get to the root of how I'm actually feeling on this?

I'm scared of doing "irreversible damage" by seeing him with someone else, but at the same time it can't be worse than just constantly imagining it, which I'm already doing 😅