Hey y’all.

My boyfriend and I have been open for 4 years. It’s gotten better over time as I have learned to become more confident in setting boundaries. But in the past I was more so trying to make him happy, boundaries were unclear, and a lot of mistakes were made by both parties.

Recently I finished a residential job that was 3 months long. So I was away from the house and my boyfriend and I were both excited about the opportunity that would create for him to make new connections and have partners in his space.

He met two women. Usually my default is parallel; I don’t want to be involved with his partners and I don’t want him to be involved with mine. I don’t normally even want to meet them tbh and that’s a boundary we are both comfortable respecting.

We had discussed though, that if he thinks I would really get along with one of his partners or vice versa, we could discuss meeting as friends. So we did this at a party, he invited these two women. I really hit it off with one (Woman A) and we’ve all been hanging out and enjoying a kitchen table dynamic.

The other (Woman B) I have no interest in being around. If I see her I am nice and friendly because that’s just the decent thing to do.

As boundaries have become looser with the woman A, I think my boyfriend misunderstood and assumed those loosening boundaries applied to woman B as well. Today he brought her over, which I knew was going to happen, so they could stop by briefly and get on his motorcycle and go for a ride. But I asked him if they were planning on hanging out here afterward and he said no. But after they finish the ride, they linger for a while and are watching me cook. It was fine for a little. But then they start curling up on the couch and watching TV which I am not okay with. I made it clear that I did not want to see this kind of physical affection between him and his partners in my own home unless it was otherwise specified. Additionally, I had a really shit day and just did not feel like being around someone I didn’t know when I was expecting to be able to mope and just decompress alone.

Now he’s driving her home and he knows I’m not happy about something and knows we will have to talk when she gets home.

So, beyond assuming positive intent and respectfully voicing why my feelings were hurt, how do I reinforce the boundary? How do I find the sense of justice I am looking for in this situation? Or is looking for a sense of justice completely wrong? Just looking for a little guidance on how to understand that maybe there was a miscommunication, but still do justice to my preferences.