I’m curious your guys thoughts on this.

I’m a 29F and have been poly/ENM for almost a decade. I’m not dating in a “Portland” or place where every other person is poly - that being said, my location still has a sizable amount of ENM/poly folks.

I’m very analytical and something I’ve noticed - Every time I’ve met a very attractive ENM man, he’s always been knee-deep in options/opportunities and had multiple serious partners if he wanted them.

(When I say attractive, I am including good looks in here. But also being social/charismatic, having hobbies, good emotional intelligence, decent communication, sexual skills, etc…)

The same I haven’t noticed with ENM women. I’m bi, and I go to a local poly meetup in my city and also have had numerous dates throughout the years with ENM women. I also have many attractive poly female friends. Some of them definitely were saturated, but many of them weren’t.

Many of them were still looking for quality connections, and some of them really struggled finding a primary partner (if they wanted one).

I’m solo-poly and don’t want a nesting partner, but I would like a serious long-term partner or 2. I’d like to meet 1-2 times a week and text periodically throughout the week.

Basically, every poly guy I’ve been highly attracted to over the years has been too saturated for that kind of connection. They already have multiple partners, and if I want to be theirs I have to fit in their super-limited schedule. It’s very discouraging.

I’m into women as well, so I’ve focused more energy on that. But I miss having a romantic connection with a man.

Is there simply just more attractive women in poly/ENM than men? I’m not trying to be rude, I’m just curious why it seems this way.