Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/nonmonogamy/s/oAcjwcvC2w

This will most likely be my final update to this story, and it’s the update I hoped I’d never have to give.

My wife and I are completely separated, have been since the start of May and having no contact on her request. I’ve become the villain in her life. She can give no timeline or idea for even thepotential for reconciliation. She says she still wants me, and theoretically would want to be with me, but I am in near constant emotional pain, so I’ve made the decision I will be getting a divorce. My state makes us wait 5 months but barring a 180 reversal on her behavior I see no way I cannot exit this marriage.

Here’s a list of reasons:

• the fight we had uncovered a ton of mental health issues she has. She is in constant need of approval, and when my approval became a given she began to seek it elsewhere. She throws herself at emotionally unavailable men in the hopes of feeling wanted and therefore having value.

-she says she has never been single for any significant amount of time in her adult life, so she is now taking this time to live that way.

-our 1 year anniversary I booked us a weekend stay at her favorite nearby beach, bought her a new swim suit, bought us a fun ice cream maker, printed pictures I took of her to put on our wall. She got me nothing. Didn’t even make me a card.

-on this same trip, she told me I might not be the most important person in her life one day. And asked if it was ok if she had a threesome with this dom and his girlfriend

-she completely disregards snd shuts me down when I try to share something she does that is hurtful and says that I “only always assume the worst of her”

There’s plenty more here, that I’m just not thinking of.

I’ve never been so heartbroken or sad about a breakup in my life. One year of marriage and we’re fucked. She never used to be this way. We were SO HAPPY. Truly. That’s what’s hurts the most.

She never brought up that she was poly until 6 months into the marriage.

This fucking sucks. Feel free to ask questions. Peace and love.