I’m potentially starting a relationship with somebody who is about to go travelling all around the world on his bicycle. He planned this trip before he met me. We also met whilst he was travelling and we are long distance now anyway from different countries in europe. We have basically fallen for each other and he says that he must do this trip but he also cannot lose me. He wants me but he also wants to travel. But he wants to have freedom - that was the purpose of his trip. We have spoken a lot about exclusivity, boundaries etc. He is saying that he wants me to be his girlfriend whilst he still can have freedom. This freedom isn’t with the intention to fuck around per se - it’s for personal development. He is 29, only had sex with two women and missed out on a lot of flirting /dating due to his autism (his words not mine). He wants to feel free in the world and not have strict obligations (of course this could be negotiated he said). He also says to me he wants to understand how things work and why he “failed” with communication most of his life. He says it’s an unfinished chapter that he really wants to explore and close. But he wants me just as much. Though if I cannot handle the freedom, it won’t work.

Open relationships are not something I’ve really considered. But I’m trying to open myself to it. See, I can absolutely see myself being able to kiss other guys, flirt, MAYBE go the whole way. I do have some specific kinks and fetishes that he doesn’t which I’d like to explore more and I also want to explore with women. But I am rather jealous and it’s hypocritical- I’m struggling to be ok if he were to do this. Why is it ok for me to do it but for him, I feel uncomfortable. It’s a bit selfish and I’m seeing this. How can I work through this?

We are going to discuss this more. I’ve never tried something like this before. I’m not sure how I feel about us having sex with others as that makes me uncomfortable. Kissing and flirting I think I can get with - but even so it’s new to me and I’m just not sure how to navigate this. He is a very loyal and trustworthy person but this part inside me feels like I’m not enough for him.

How can I fight these feelings of jealousy? I just want to know he’ll commit to me and I’ll still be his number one. But I can’t shake the feeling that I am not enough