My BF likes to hook up with other women sometimes. I never felt anything negative from or towards the several of the women he's had sex with. Met with them too, got on great with them. Didn't vibe with any of them strongly enough to find them sexually attractive myself, which is a shame because he and I LOVE the idea of having a threesome. I had a threesome with my previous partner of 12 years before and I would love to do it again with my new man.

All was well...until he had sex with "Trouble".

She's awesome! I like Trouble a lot. She is in an open relationship with a long term partner and my BF has had sex with her a new times before I met him.

At the time, my BF and I were not in an official relationship. I reacted very upset, very unlike me, I suprised myself. The reason I was upset was because Trouble gets to go back to a boyfriend, Trouble's BF has the security of a girlfriend, my guy gets to come back to someone who loves him. And what do I get? Massive insecurity, that's what! :(

We talked it out and two months ago decided to be in an official, exclusive relationship for a while so we can figure out our feelings towards each other. Other partners make this too complicated for me right now as our relationship security develops. I know I am capable of having a BF that has sex with other women and not feel insecure, I did it before.

So, what is the problem?

BF asked if he could have sex with Trouble again.

Bro, its been two months. Still no.

He respects my wishes and I trust he won't do anything without my permission. She also now knows how I reacted last time and has backed off for now sexually. I'd like to see her again sometime so my bad memory is replaced with a nice experience with her. And if she is "tainted" in my mind and I can't replace that negative vibe with a good vibe, well then she and my BF will just have to remain friends as long as I feel that way or we stay together.

My question to you, dear non-mono Reddit: did I handle this ok? Any advice moving forward?