Trying to get a guage of other people's experiences.

I'm mainly curious about people who have been doing ENM for a long time, because they're more likely to have a wider range of dating experiences. But I'm also open to hearing from people who are more new if you've been on many 1st dates.

I'm turning 28 (bi F) soon and have been ENM since I was 21. I've had various dating experiences and many 1st dates. Many of these people were attractive and fun to be around, but for one reason or another things didn't click in that way (or only clicked short-term).

When I read stories here about people's intense NRE with someone, I get a bit jealous. It's been a long time since I've felt that about anyone, and when I have, it's almost never been reciprocated long-term.

I'm a recovering dopamine addict, I recognize this about myself. But I've been working hard on myself to appreciate stability and peace over chasing "fleeting highs." I only drink socially on occasion now, I workout to get energy/endorphins, I'm in therapy, I have a supportive friend circle etc.

But occasionally I just miss getting that rush of excitement for meeting someone new, flirting, and it really "clicking" with high energy. Where we're so attracted to eachother, we can't take our hands off eachother.

I'm on Feeld/a few other dating apps, go out on occasion and do put myself out there. But most of those experiences, if I'm being honest, are me giving a chance to people I'm "on the fence" about. Sometimes the attraction does develop with time/rapport, but I'm not demisexual and can feel instantaneous attraction with people who really do it for me. But it seems finding those opportunities/people are rare.

Basically the title is my question:

How often do you really feel NRE in ENM, and have it be mutual? How long have those relationships lasted? Am I doing something wrong to not have had as many positive experiences like that?