I've done some version of poly for a few years now but a similar problem keeps coming up. My ex partner (m,27) and I (f, 27) of 5 years had our relationship open on my side only to femme humans. In that time I dated two ppl for a few months each. I'm the type that does relationships really intensely, like spend all my time w them and text all the time. Both of these relationships were very time constrained. One lived in another city and the other worked a ton. So it was once a week dates and that's it. I never developed big feelings for either of them. Maybe because of time or because I had a really strong partnership already?

At the beginning of this year I started dating someone (A) and it was probably a rebound but I did end up saying I love you to her but idk how real that was, looking back, cuz then I met another human (B) and fell in love and lost all feelings for the first person. That freaked me out. I couldn't think of her like in general. Well she was never entering my mind ig and when she did there was just a vague numbness. No love, no interest, no excitement.

So me and B are super in love, and a few weeks in another human (C) and I start talking. A and I mutually separate cuz she's doing other stuff anyways. C and I establish a low priority thing. I'm hanging out with B all the time and it's great. See C once a week. Now C is growing feelings and I'm really enjoying our time together but I never actively miss them or think about them. At first I thought it was because we were being more casual and then I thought I feared losing feelings for B like I did A (side note: I feel threatened by my relationship with C because I want to protect my relationship with B so bad but there is no hierarchical anything, well I'm not trying there to be, I'm actively trying to not do that, like no secondaries or vetoes or anything) but now I'm wandering if quality time is just so super important to me, like I need it to have big feelings. And seeing someone once a week is never gonna cut it. But also I feel blocked from seeing them more cuz I wanna spend all my time with B. A also had big time limits. I could only see them on weekends really.

So idk, has anyone else felt this way? I'm starting to feel like a poly fraud.