I just needed a place to vent about this as I don't have a lot of people irl i can openly discuss it with, so sorry if this isn't the place! I'm fairly new to non monogamy after leaving a 4 year, long distance relationship last year. I realized, at least for the time being, I don't want anything monogamous and have felt good about multiple on going flings.

The idea of ENM never really cliqued with me before since I was in a monogamous relationship, but after meeting my two friends who are married and poly, I started contemplating the idea more. Long-story short, I even realized my relationship with two OTHER friends I have sort of constituted a non-monogamous relationship in our own weird way, but that's besides the point.

Recently I realized that I have a huge crush on both of my married friends, who date separately. I have had separate, flirty relationships with the two of them but nothing has outright progressed. Me and the wife have been far more outwardly flirty, have kissed, always talk about going to BDSM events together and very openly talk about our sex lives. She has invited me to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend (not her husband, to my disappointment LOL).

With the husband, our relationship has been way more along the lines of friendship but with many flirty undercurrents that have picked up lately. I have always felt he's had a crush on me, but I think I kind of friend zoned him early on in our relationship because I was in my own monogamous relationship at the time and expressed that I wasn't interested in the idea of non-monogamy. Obviously, those feelings have since changed, and since I've talked about how I'm interested in ENM, the chemistry between us has exponentially picked up. The flirtation is much less blatant than with his wife, but feels more in line with the classic feeling of a slow burn.

They have had issues in their relationship a few months ago, so I was trying my best to keep myself in check when it comes to the flirting and have tried to solidify a platonic relationship with both of them. However, things have really escalated lately without me noticing, with the husband coming onto me more overtly and the wife now making comments about how me and her husband are "so cute" and wanting us to have sex.

The husband and I have been planning on doing MDMA together this weekend, where it's my first time and but not his. Obviously, we are going to be having a big boundary talk about it tomorrow which I'm going to be addressing all of this tension and trying to clearly establish my position in this relationship. So I guess we will see where this goes, but ugh. It is such a whirlwind, and I'd lie if I said I wasn't as nervous as I am excited to finally clear the air.