Okay so I (F, 23, trans) have been poly/ENM for about a year now. About two months ago I met a very attractive older man (M, 42, cis) on a ENM dating app, he identified himself as “Poly”. We hit it off pretty well but due to my own personal struggles with body gender dysphoria it took me a second to feel comfortable meeting up.

After talking for awhile he suggested we have an FFM threesome with him and one of his “lovers” (F, 25, cis) who also identifies herself as Poly. I was a bit nervous because I don’t have much experience with cis women (I was too uncomfortable being with one prior to my medical transition actually). I was completely relieved when we all met up, I was super into her, thought she was gorgeous and we vibed better than I expected tbh. However, we did not end up having a threesome that night, we went to a poly cocktail mixer. (I can give more context as to why but it’s not that important)

After that, her and I began texting on our own - outside of him and have been flirting / sending nudes since. Last week I met up with him one on one, we were all supposed to hang but she was on her period so we had to reschedule for this week.

I was happy that we got to test our own sexual chemistry / see what feels good before jumping into a full on 3some with him. Since I have little to no experience having sex with cis women and want the 3some to be awesome I let him know that I wanted to have a one on one experience with her as well before we all met up this week to reduce the learning curve for myself.

When I mentioned it to him he reacted kinda negatively. Saying “I like the learning curve aspect of threesomes… the newness of the moment. I don’t see how it’s necessary for you and Kylie to hook up one on one before having a 3some with me”

I kinda backed up and gave a “sure, whatever you want” answer but after sleeping on it, no that’s I want. I’m confused are these red flags from him, did I do something wrong - I’m just not sure how typical this is. Advice wanted on how to navigate this as she’s asked to see me tonight!