I [M24] have been in a fairly serious, monagomous relationship with my partner [F23] for over a year now and it's great, but I frequently feel trapped. The thought of only sleeping with one person for the rest of my life makes me nervous and uncomfortable, and this pressure is bleeding into the way I feel about my partner. They on the other hand, are excited by the prospect, and are, in general, powerfully monagomous (and get a little upset every time I bring up the topic).

I frequently see other people and get turned on (sometimes to the point where I get butterflies in my stomach) but she says she only finds me attractive now. I'm attracted to, and excited by, my partner, but also by a bunch of things that she doesn't have. I like spending time with her, and we get along amazingly, but I dearly miss the romance of uncertainty. I always liked dating, and surprise, and intrigue, and while we can restore some of that in our lives it's never going to be the same because we already know each other too well, and are not different people each time. I'm generally unsure about how I would feel about sharing my partner. I can't tell if any resistance I feel is the result of insecurity or something else. She is resistant to trying (until long after marraige at least, which to me seems far too late).

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I can't tell if there is a need that I have, that is not being met in a monagomous relationship, or if I'm just scared to commit to one person, no matter how great, for ever. I do feel like I have more single living to do, but I can't reasonably put my finger on what that would mean, and I worry that I would be throwing a great thing away on a whim if I were to end things.

Any advice on how to proceed would be appreciated. I do intend to speak to my partner eventually, but I want to clarify my own thoughts/feelings before I raise them with her.