I'm trying to be on Reddit less, but this pissed me off and has been messing up my mood since last night.

I was at my writer's group for a write-in. I was hoping for some conversation, but that didn't happen, so I focused on generating content. And as I'm starting to get into my groove the guy I'm sitting across is like "Anyone but (other person at the group) ever tell you how loudly you type?" No one said anything, but everyone took notice. I kept working after that, but my pace was slower, and I don't know whether that's because I got knocked out of my flow-state or because I was trying to type more quietly.

I absolutely do type loudly. It took me forever to learn how to type. I got pulled out of class so many times during elementary school to work on my typing, as well as my handwriting. And I've had decades of people criticizing how I used to type with one hand, or how I would peck at the keys with one finger, or my typing speed, or what have you. In recent years I've gotten far better at typing, so much so that I often forget how much practice it took for me to get there. I was happier not thinking about it. And then someone had to open his mouth just to remind me that no, I'm still not good enough. I still need correcting.

Like, really, what the hell was he thinking? I don't think the guy dislikes me, since he says hello if he sees me before group starts. And he couldn't have known my backstory. But goddamn, it is so frustrating when you're minding your own business, not consciously bothering anyone, and the only thing anyone tells you the whole evening is that just being there is disruptive and annoying. I already have trouble making or maintaining friendships, let alone rituals which take me out of my house, and this shit is not helping.

At least next week we're doing feedback. I don't type during feedback sessions. But who knows, maybe someone will find something else to embarrass me about. Anything is fair game, isn't it?