I am a trans femme person, 72, married 36 years, and my cis F wife fully experiences the fear and distress that so many wives and husbands feel upon learning of their SOs trans feelings and need to improve things.

My wife is not supportive, and we muddle along, and generally I am left to find my way as best I can while making life as comfortable for her as possible. I find community here on Reddit and talking about things helps.

I put together a step by step process map for couples who are facing this challenge, specifically those who want to find a way to stay together, or at least an orderly and complete way of determining amicably it is not possible.

Here is the link, out on Medium and please let me know if it is helpful.

https://therealphil.medium.com/if-your-so-just-announced-they-are-trans-37bb62effeb6