I’m having a bad day. I just started this new treatment for my depression, PTSD, anxiety and psychosis. Although it’s promising, it hasn’t kicked in yet. My psychiatrist built it up to be this amazing cure and it’s just not. At least, not yet. I feel so sad today it feels like there’s a black hole in my chest sucking out my soul and everything inside me. I reached out to a friend and they said I’m an intense person to be friends with because of all the suicide attempts and self harm and other stuff, and that they needed space from me. My aunt calls me emotionally fragile and my mom only answers the phone if she’s prepared to deal with me in a crisis. It’s like everyone only sees my mental illness, and not me. I feel like a walking mental illness because of it. I’m lost and I’m broken. Maybe I am nothing more than a walking mental illness. Maybe everyone is right, and maybe I’ll always be this broken heap of sadness and pain.