No matter how hard I try to break it, I keep ending up in the same old cycle of lying, cheating, and being miserable for it. I've never had a healthy, faithful relationship. When I'm alone I'm miserable. So I go out and find "companions". I just spent my entire bonus on sex.

I find it hard to trust anybody, and I trust myself even less. I don't steal or anything, but I lie so much half the time I can't even keep track of what I said and to whom.

Everything I do is about me. Everything I do is a temporary crutch to make me feel better about myself. Whether it's booze, weed, pills, sex, gambling. If it's in front of me and available, I want it. I never even think about anything or anyone else until after the fact, when I'm instantly regretful of my actions.

I have wild mood swings, one minute I'm feeling like it's the best day of my life. And the next I'm so frustrated I'm yelling and swearing and acting completely unprofessional. It can be the smallest thing that sets me off. Then 5 minutes later I'm fine again. This happens all day, every day.

I constantly seek out attention from women, which has not only landed me on the receiving end of many break-ups, but also led to me getting arrested.

What the fuck is wrong with me?