I don't feel anything anywhere, I've felt detached from my feelings for years and I feel completely apathetic but at the same time I feel something but I don't know how to explain it, I feel like a spectator looking at my life from above, even with regards to sex, I don't have an unbalanced life, I often go to the gym, I'm healthy, I meditate everyday, but my libido is dead, no erection in the morning or spontaneous for years, no sexual urge, never had sex, I still remember when my grandparents died and I didn't feel anything or any other loss, I didn't feel sad and I didn't even want to cry, it was a day like any other, I laugh hysterically alone but inside I don't laugh, I can't explain it. Just anger, I just need to feel something that isn't anger, and the situation has gotten worse in recent years that I started to cut myself sometimes.
May be it's hormonal imbalance? I'm totally confused if what I said is real or not