I just got out of a relationship due to a long lasting depressive state, not realizing how far things have come and through out the five your relationship I knew many times I needed to make changes but never worked towards it, and if I did it would last a few months and I would crash and return back to my struggling self and in those states of mind I hurt all those around me and never realize a thing, now that I've all that I love I have been able to see things so many things that I have done and wish everything to take it away, being that I can't I have a new desire to be the best man I can be and more I'm devoted to myself but finding there is more skeletons in the closet every day is scaring me but more than anything I'm terrified of losing this motivation and going back into the whole I can't it's a loop and I need out I wanna take these steps and they be worth something Cuz if I fall back idk what I will do and that is my worst fear!