I haven't had real friends in years. I don't know if I've ever had them. I'm so lonely I can't bear with it anymore. Loneliness is the piece of trauma that I cannot heal from, because it requires others to support and care for me. I cannot get that. I have tried for years. I have coped all my life with this loneliness. Journals I wrote as a child say the same thing I am saying now about how desperate I am for friends, social connections, something anything to ease this loneliness. I cannot trust people. They reject me. They abandon me. They don't even give me a chance. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm stuck. My social anxiety is so bad because of the trauma. Nobody wants to give me a chance because of trauma. I will be miserable my whole life. I hate this. It's not fair. I didn't do anything to deserve this.