To preface my post: I'm not completely lonely. I still have friends and family. I just can't talk with them about such problems (it just isn't how things are handled in my family).
I've been craving a relationship for quite some time. From when I was 14 or so, to be exact. There are various reasons why it didn't happen. Looks and self-confidence probably being the biggest reasons. I tried many things to achieve a relationship, including dating apps, but to no avail. So I though: 'Why not try it on Reddit? There surely are many kindred souls on here.' And you know what? People started writing me. Some, obviously, fake. Others wanting money. The worst of them just toying with me/my feelings. But there were the real ones, the genuine ones, too. In the end (you could probably guess it), it wasn't supposed to be. Most conversations just ... stopped one day. Others ignored me. But yesterday I got blocked. We started writing 5 days ago. I enjoyed it, she seemed to enjoy it and we both seemed to like what we read from and about the other. Yesterday I noticed that her messages were gone and I couldn't access her profile anymore. She blocked me. Without giving a reason, without notice. I did not feel despair or anger in that moment. I was just .... hollow. Empty inside. Since yesterday I'm just functioning without feeling much. I think I might just come to terms with staying lonely (read: without a romantic relationship) for the rest of my life. I'm tired of searching. I'm fed up with people just leaving. I will just live the biggest part of my life without a partner and that newborn emptiness inside of me.
Thank you for listening to my ramblings. Cheers to you if you understood the reference in my title. And don't you dare go hollow like I did, friend.