This is a big one to get. . .and valuable for clients to see that perhaps they're having the "right" life experience just as they are having and to feel really good about themselves.

There is a constant striving to get somewhere, get out of an undesirable situation, make a lot of money to get out of the discomfort of the present moment, get out of an unpleasant relationship out of fear, nail down someone to a commitment of a relationship out of fear . . .and even if they manage to get somewhere else or get the thing they want, there then are problems in that new situation they don't like either and it's back to the drawing board all over again trying to constantly get anywhere else other than where they're at right now.

The reality is "if you cannot be happy or find what's right and good about the present situation, how on earth can you ever be happy somewhere else?"

Maybe life is really good right now just as it is and just as it isn't. .

"Healing" is a funny word. . .it insinuates that there is something wrong. . .something broken to begin with. . .that may be a valid viewpoint but consider that that's one viewpoint out of many possible interpretations. . .

Another possible viewpoint that could be equally as valid is "what if nothing was ever broken?" What if what we consider as broken is actually something we "made up or invented"? Who gets to say what's "normal" and what isn't? What is "normal" anyhow? Isn't there ever only "right now" and "right now" and so on. A lot of comparison to standards that were invented to begin with and highly unexamined and constantly changing.

An example of this is in healthcare - one of the hats I wear other than life coach is health practitioner and I have seen in healthcare where there are constantly new definitions of disease being "made up" or "created" that weren't an issue ever before - like pre-diabetes didn't even exist before recent. Even the recommended food guide for countries is a constantly changing target. . .one year dairy was recommended as part of one's diet in my country for many years and now it is not even part of the recommended food guide. You see this in the beauty industry . . .what's considered "attractive" for women is constantly changing and different in different cultures and in different times. What is considered attractive now for a woman would be considered undesirable just 100 -200 years ago. . .crazy to compare oneself to any of these moving targets.

I know at this point, some reading this might be wanting to argue for that I'm wrong, that's it's a ridiculous notion, and that of course things are broken. . .just look at the state of the planet, people suffering, war, famine, death, starvation, inequality, greed, etc. - that I'm living in a state of pollyanna, hiding my head in the sand and disconnected from reality. . . and that's fine and if it doesn't work - toss it away (no one is forcing you to read this). . .I'm not saying that all of those aren't terrible things to consider.

But consider that things that are perfect don't have to be good or nice or happy, or elicit good feelings. Things that are perfect can include pain, suffering, negative emotions. . .that there's perhaps a much much greater plan / game playing out here that our very tiny brains cannot even hope to grasp and way above our pay grade to comprehend the enormity and complexity of the Universe. We can't and don't even understand our own bodies and don't have much control over thought patterns let alone understanding the enormity of something much greater than us. Things happen for reasons way beyond our understanding.

It's just an invitation to hold a different sort of context for the whole ride. . .one where you can find yourself and others, and your clients "right" versus wrong - and feel free to throw it in the garbage if it doesn't fit. . .Sure, there's still the practicalities of life - paying bills, eating healthy, having good communication in relationships, making "enough" money - all stuff to be addressed and things to learn around this like how to relate to money and how it works, becoming more aware of the world of the opposite sex and the dynamic between the sexes so you can "play your hand better" as a man or woman, or developing more awareness around how the body works , how to communicate in a way where someone else feels heard and you can get more of what you want - which are all things that can be learned. . .I'm just referencing a different sort of overall context to navigate life and one can still have goals. . .but goals can be created from a place that things are good right now versus broken . . .although most create goals from "what's wrong" or trying to get out of a bad situation. . .which is all fine - except that even if or when they accomplish their goals - there are other challenges or things they won't and don't like in the new situation as well.

Anyhow - it's just a context to hold with clients - for them to see what's good and right about their lives versus what's wrong or broken and what needs to be fixed. Rarely do people have someone tell them they're having the right life and that they're inherently a good person . . .and it's a huge relief.

A mentor of mine awhile ago said it's much easier to go from "good" to "great" than it is to go from "broken" to "great".

I was talking with a client recently and she said she sold her tax free investments in mutual funds (similar to a 401k) and accrued a rather large capital gains tax bill. A friend of her berated and criticized her for doing something really stupid and it could have been done so she didn't have to pay as many taxes and she was feeling miserable after talking with him and beating herself up. I thought for a moment and said "well, if the stock market really tanks (which is a very real possibility), you have your money in cash and you'll look a genius compared to what he's doing when his investment portfolio tanks and he's singing the blues. . .you just never know with this sort of thing at the end of the day . . .better to never beat yourself up or judge yourself as bad or wrong . . .and what are you doing listening to a guy who isn't managing his money well anyways". She came out of the conversation in a whole different headspace.

There's always another way to look at everything. . .