I currently live with my boyfriend, but am slowly realising I might be lesbian. Over a few weeks I was being distant with him and it's been this huge back and forth of whether or not we are going to continue with this relationship.

BUT I have to move next year and a big thing is that he is so convinced that we are going to be together forever(partially my fault... I used to talk about us having kids and getting married etc etc. Which is extremely stupid because we haven't even been together for a year. Yes I know it's insane and I have zero Idea what I was thinking back then.)

Anyway, I told him that I think I might be gay and he was understandably very upset and he said I should move out. The thing is, I can't do that right now- we are in a lease, we share a lot of expenses, and part of my job is working from home which I couldn't do if I moved back to my parents house(the only alternative.) I also just can not afford to leave because he makes more and pays for most things.

Because I didn’t want him to kick me out, I panicked and told him "maybe I'm just depressed and that's why I'm not feeling attraction right now" and now he seems to think everything's fine and that he is definitely moving with me. (This is no small move by the way-across the country, or possibly to a different continent.)

So I'm stuck with this guy who thinks we are soul mates, and gets freaked out when I say "I'm not sure"to his questions like "can you see us being married" and other shit like that. Idk if I can keep pretending for the next 8 months and idk how I would break it to him that I am in fact attracted to girls only, when he seems to think I was "mistaken" in thinking that earlier.

Also I have dropped many hints and said many things to him about how we only moved in as a trial before deciding if he wanted to move with me (he knew from the beginning of the relationship) etc etc. But he seems to think that because we moved in, we are basically engaged.

So sorry if this is a bunch of nonsense- my brains a bit panicky right now because I don't know what to do. Any help is appreciated.