I started losing weight at my highest weight which was 245-250. I got down to 190, and ever since have been yo-yoing a bit. Weighed in today at 220 pounds and I broke down crying at the doctors office. I waited until I was in the restroom but I am only 5'2 so it really shows when I gain weight.

My BMI suggests I am "very morbidly" obese and I just feel so awful about it. I was fired for the first time in my life and I used that job to stay active. I have a treadmill and stationary bike, plan on using each for at least an hour every other day to start.

I know I need to drink a fuck ton of water, cut out any super sugary stuff and focus on how food is fuel and not an emotional crutch.

I feel so defeated. So lost. I feel like there is the "real" me inside the overweight version of me. If that makes any sense at all.

The only difficult part of this is that I have legit a bakers dozen chronic illnesses so it can really knock me on my ass for days if I get ill.

Please share with me any useful tips, tricks, suggestions, advice, anything at all.

I want to lose 100 pounds. My goal weight is 120 pounds. I know I can do it. I know I will make everyone believe in my will and determination. I just need that push to start.