No idea where else to post this- direction elsewhere would be appreciated, but delete as needed, please.

I'm in a relationship that is technically poly, though right now its just us (on both sides), and we recently had a baby.

I'm struggling with intimacy. For a lot of reasons I'm not going to go in to. I've been in the hypersexual category for.. a long time. But every so often, I just sort of shut down. But this time is the worst it's ever happened.

Thing is my partner is hypersexual too, and not shut down. And at this point, quite frustrated.

He's talked about wanting to have threesomes or someone else on his side, even just a hook up. I've encouraged him to pursue that (especially on his side). But he says he needs my help to do it. And to a degree, he's right. Very few people (especially in our area) will accept his advances if they see me in person or snoop and find either of our profiles. Being poly, or even whatever other definition of "He-is-allowed-to-fuck-you." Is never taken at face value. I've had people message me to tell me he's tried to talk to them.

So I guess to simplify shit my question is- how tf do I get him a hookup for his birthday? Where tf do I find poly/ENM hook ups? I know cuck queen shit is a thing too. But we have a kid, so I would have to be absent whether I wanted to be or not.

I dunno. I just want to do this for him.