tl;dr - See title. How soon is too soon to try and figure out if a match you've made does or doesn't want kids.

Moving on into my 30's I've known for awhile now that I for sure don't want kids. I ended my longest relationship yet (5 years) in my 20's when my partner and I came to odds about it for that and other reasons but now in the OLD world I notice that, on hinge specifically, its like shooting in the dark as to whether or not people fill out their profiles fully.

I have mine filled out fully because I wouldn't want to waste anyones time and wouldn't want mine wasted either. I don't automatically match with everyone whos profiles state they aren't interested in kids either but its something I look for all the time and it gets exhausting that I don't often see that indicated as much and yet I almost always see those who "want kids" as listing it on their profiles.

What spurred this self check/reflection was a match I'd been texting about a week trying to plan a date/get together, while I was in the process of suggesting a few places to go out I also asked if there were any deal breakers or things she'd like to know about me before we met and in turn I mentioned that I noticed her profile noted she had no indication of her preference on kids and I ended up getting a pretty defensive/snarky response back.

I didn't think I'd asked the question rudely or inappropriately but it boiled down to her (31F by the way) saying she does want kids and was fine telling me but "doesn't like to list it on her profile because that feels like very private information you don't share right away" and I felt very confused.

We still haven't met yet because I shared my stance with her on being firm on not wanting that in my future so its just puttered off into aimless texting but regardless, I understand everyone feels different about what they do and don't share in social media spaces and on dating apps but am I wrong to be a bit frustrated and confused by her take on it? I don't bring kids up THE FIRST THING in conversation if someone doesn't list it on their profile but it's something I'd prefer to know before I go on a date with them.

Am I going about this the generally right way or is there a better way I could approach the situation based on my own prefrences?

EDIT: Thank you everyone for sharing so far and extra shout out to all the similarly minded "don't want kids" women taking the time to affirm that I'm not alone in this. It's a struggle