She loved me better than I ever been loved. She wanted to love me. She did things for me out of pure kindness and love. She became my safe place and best friend. I didn’t know how to receive love so I withdrew and even though I loved her more than anybody you’d never know. It’s like I became a whole different person to avoid our inevitable down fall. Self sabotage in its purest form. This seems to the be cycle of my life. I’m a cool person so we always get along so well at first but after awhile my flip switches and the descent starts and I’m left picking up the pieces of my selfish decisions. We were living together the past year and been over for two months. It’s like my sense of purpose is gone. The person always in my corner waiting for me gone, in love with somebody else who can probably love her better. All the memories slowly fading while i try desperately to cling onto them to keep a sense of familiarity. Hope she calls knowing she never will. Knowing this chapter of my life is closed. Worst part of it all is that it was all done by my own hands and could have been saved if I wasn’t my own worst enemy