I wish I was stronger. It’s been almost a year and right now as I write this I cry. I never talked to another guy after you. I don’t want to or have any desire to meet anyone. I went back to our messages I hate being the last one to have said I love you before everything went down. wish I was pretty or at least have some confidence in how I look. I wish I worked on losing weight before I met you. I wish I knew how to communicate. I wish you had thought I was enough. I know maybe to you it wasn’t a big deal but I can’t compete with someone who has their life together. The only thing I have for myself is love. My heart still hurts for you and that’s all I have. You moved on in a month…how? I thought you loved me…I don’t want to cry anymore. Im scared that I will never be enough for anyone; unconditional love isn’t enough if I’m not pretty or have everything together. Do you remember when we barely knew each other you asked me to marry you? Can I be greedy and ask for you to pray that I lose all feelings for you? My crystals aren’t listening to me anymore they’ve tried and I don’t listen :)

And Ik in another life you’ll be with her. I know she was your one true love. I hope I get to meet someone who loves me in this lifetime because I never want to exist again. I can’t deal with this heart of mine.