I miss her and what’s crazy is when I think about her I realize I don’t even fucking like her. Every time she pops up it’s something she did that used to annoy me and I replay it in my mind like “well then leave! Stop talking to me!” But I never said it. I would just bend myself to try to appease her and it never even worked cuz we still broke up anyway!!!

I can’t think of any actual reasons why I want her in my life again other than I feel comfortable with her. Even that isn’t true because I couldn’t be myself.

She fucking dumped me 2 days after my grandma died because I wasn’t “physically affectionate” enough towards her.

But I still miss her, I still fight daily to not text her. I still check her profile and see what she’s up to. I still want her. wtf.