Thanks for driving me to the appointment today. I wasn’t supposed to drive myself on account of how they dope you up. And now I need someone to watch me for the rest of the day to make sure I don’t do anything stupid.

You see, this appointment today was to have a tube stuck up my butt.

I can say it now, because it’s after the fact. Also, I’m high from whatever was in that IV. But I haven’t had any solid food in like a day. Not much liquid either, other than some shit I drank that made me… um…

But anyway… after all of that, I’m clean as a whistle.

I was a little bit worried about the exam. I’d had my annual physical a few weeks ago, and then I got a call from the doctor saying that they wanted to schedule this because of my bloodwork. So I made the appointment and got you to drive me. Then I got changed into a gown, got an IV stuck into me, and…

Well, that’s when the nice nurse asked me to confirm my last name and date of birth. Except according to their records, I was born in the 50s. Turns out there was a mix-up. I wasn’t the patient they wanted. My ass is fine, and not just in the figurative sense.

So they of course apologized and took the IV out of me, then left me alone while I mystically transformed back into a tomboy by putting on my jeans and t-shirt. Then I walked back out to the waiting room, and… well, you know the rest.

I kind of meant to not tell you any of this. That clinic does a lot of tests and procedures, so it’s not like you knew your friend was going to get anally probed while you read some months old magazine or watched old tv shows.

But like I said, the stuff they had in the IV made me care less about my privacy and you knowing what was going to happen to my poor, defenseless butt.

And also… as I was getting dressed at the end there, I suddenly realized “Hey, if you’re ever going to get fucked in the ass, now is the time.”

Full Script Here

This is tagged rape because the tomboy is still a little full of drugs, so consent isn't as clear as it would otherwise be. If you're looking for something dark, this isn't the script for you.

Full disclosure here, in that I've never engaged in anal sex. I suspect it's one of those things that sound much cooler than it actually is. Like being an adult. In reality, things end up being a mess the entire time. But so much of my writing focuses on tropes and porn logic. In this case I kind of ran with the idea that this would be a great time for the main character to give it a try. Although she may have other motives as well.

If anyone wishes to record this, please feel free to do so.