I was prescribed medication upon my diagnoses but I never picked them up because I was ashamed. I thought I could handle it on my own but it has gotten worse. I cry everyday, Because school is out and I work from home (which has nothing to do with my diagnosis) I stay up at night and sleep during the day. When I am awake I am in my bed all day unless I need to eat or go to the bathroom. Recently I went off on my friend because I got jealous that she was talking to another guy. A little bit of background on us she did say she liked me more than a friend at one point but was only using me to get over her ex boyfriend. I was livid and I still am bitter to this day. Stuff like this never really got to me before. Anytime I got rejected I would brush it off. But nowadays I resent whoever rejects me. The amount of time I have gotten rejected or pushed to the side because someone better came along has really pushed me over the edge. I am especially bitter about another incident a year ago that I think was the cause of all of this. I met this woman and we were talking. Within a week she came out and said that she liked me and us talking. I came to her house on Christmas to spend time with her. We still were not dating at the time because she told me she isn't ready to date because of her parents going through a divorce. I wanted to be there for her though because her dad was never around. She has been in an abusive relationship with an ex and I wanted to show her that I am so much better than all of the guys that she has dated. During Christmas day when I surprised her by coming over. The next day she started to ignore me. Then she started to sleep around with other guys and I was crushed. The one time I found a someone who was interested in me, it turns out they were not interested in me at all. Unlike my friend, she has apologized and although she insists that she was interested in me I don't believe that. I don't want to be bitter and consumed with all of this hate and anger. How effective is medication? As far as me going off on my friend, how do I fix that? Obviously after going off on her she will look at me differently but I hurt her and I want her to know that I am sorry. I don't want to get anywhere near her though because I have been scaring myself with the way that I have been acting. God forbid that I snap and I physically hurt her. I would not be able to live with myself if that were to happen.