With my hand outstretched and bent forward to help him up, I couldn't speak or breathe, I just took his hand, pulled him up, looking stupid, and turned to run to get breakfast looking back and stuttering sorry with my cheeks completely flushed bright red.  At lunch that day, I was explaining to the family what I had done and telling them how much I was attracted to him.  As we were leaving, I pointed him out as he was entering for his lunch into the dinning hall. Everyone laughed and told me to forget it, he had been working there almost 3 years and they knew he was straight and that I was looking for trouble if I even tried to be friends with him.  So my heart was devastated, but they were probably right, best to move on.

Over the next month, we saw one another in the hallway of the basement in the mornings and had at least begun to be nice, polite and sometimes jovial with one anther. He was just so fucking hot... I won't even admit to how many times I'd spent jacking myself off to images of him in my mind, or how many times I'd check out his ass when he walked in front of me, or even on one or two occasions would check out the bulge in his pants, it hung to the right, nicely, I'll admit.

A few weeks later I saw him talking to a guy in the hallway that I'd swear I'd seen talking to a few family members that I knew but not well... so I pointed him out to Craig and asked who he was, he told me that he was roommates with Brian,  huh??? You mean the guy I'm crushing over Brian?  He said yeah, that's what he'd heard... I told him about that guy talking to Jerry and Tony some family members from upstairs... Craig said I was just wishful thinking on that one.  But I'd swear... Okay, I know, leave it alone!!

That weekend while Craig and I were out bar hopping we saw Brian's roommate visiting with Jerry and Tony at one of the gay bars, so Craig was surprised, but admitted I had been right.  So we approached the three of them and I got to meet Brian's roomie, Dean, and yes... Dean was every bit of queer as me. I struck up a conversation about his roomie, he laughed hysterically, he was like... oh, you're the one who knocked Brian on his ass in the basement hallway.  I was shocked and asked how he knew about that, he said Brian had told him about it. Oh?? Oh!! Interesting, then Dean warned me about Brian, he knew Dean was gay and didn't really care, but he (Brian) was straight and he wouldn't hesitate to turn me in, if I tried anything on him.  Now remember this is prior to Don't Ask, Don't Tell and it was illegal to be gay in the military and they would dishonorably discharge you if caught. 

Dean smiled, he knew I was crushing on Brian big time and he made sure I knew, from him, like everyone else to leave things alone. But I couldn't, not with Brian.  The family went every Wednesday to the Bonham (the very first club I'd ever been to) it was the place to be for gay and straights.  Every Wednesday was 25 cent well drinks and the club would literally do about 1,200 people that night. The next Wednesday I saw Dean there, and low and behold, there was Brian with him.  Most of the family, including myself, was freaking out seeing Brian there and most everyone I knew was avoiding even eye contact with him.  I went to the bathroom and was waiting my turn to take a piss when Brian walked right up to me and asked me to wait while he pissed because he didn't want to be in the bathroom by himself.  I looked at him and he smiled, he said Dean told him he trusted me, so he felt comfortable with me as well.  So now here I stand just a few feet from this gorgeous drunk man taking a piss in front of me, cause his roomie trusted me... I must admit, I looked... FUCK, I'm glad I did too, what was in his hand looked so damn sweet!! This nice cut beautiful cock! I suspected he knew I looked, but he didn't let him bother him, if he did know, I was still enjoying the view.  So he and Dean left, both a bit drunk, but in good spirits.

Needless to say, the load I shot that night remembering that view of that awesome cock, was incredible and massive! Or maybe I should say, the loads, I shot that night were so intense.

Thursday, Craig was realy getting fucking tired hearing about Brian, Brian this, Brian that... Brian, Brian and Brian.  I even saw him in the hallway in the basement after lunch, all he did was grin and nod his head as we passed.  The next two weeks were the worst in years,  I didn't see Brian, I didn't see Dean and no one wanted to hear me pine over not seeing him, and it really sucked, I really had it bad for this guy.  So three Wednesday afternoons after seeing both of them at the Bonham, Dean catches me in the dinning hall at the end of lunch.  He asked me to catch a ride over to his place after work, he wanted me to help him with something. I was thrilled at the thought of going to their apartment.  Craig gave me a ride over to Dean and Brian's place, as I got out of the car he looked at me with sincerity in his eyes and told me to be really careful around Brian.  I told him I would and he left me there.  I knocked on the door and Brian answered, he waived me in and called Dean out to the living room, he appeared from his room and told me to give him a second and went back to his room.  Brian sat down with me in the dining room and got me a soda to drink... then, without wasting anytime he began to question me like I was the defendant on trial. It took me completely off guard and by total surprise... he was asking if I was sleeping with Dean, almost as if he was jealous... little did I know that afternoon just how much this day would change my life.

Dean came back into the living room and the two of them were arguing about anything and everything, Dean even flew off the handle about Brian's questioning of me. I just wanted to hide while they argued, but both of them kept dragging me back into their fight. Finally after another 10 minutes or them arguing, I volunteered to walk back to base and I'd just talk to them later,  Brian stood up and looked me right in the eye, of course I saw those warm hazel eyes and would have done anything he wanted at that very moment... He asked me not to leave, he wanted me to stay... so here I am face to face with the biggest crush of my life and looking into those damn eyes of his and stuttering and stammering my speech. Dean smiles cause he knows that Brian has no clue that I'm just hung on his every word. Dean in a devious mood now, decides to tell me that the three of us are going to the Bonham together that night. So, now I'm beginning to wonder why Dean ask for my help, was it a ploy, was Dean trying to get me and Brian together, did Brian himself have something to do with all this or what?  So about 20 minutes later were getting ready to go out, Brian even loaned me a shirt since I hadn't dressed to go out and then the three of us climb into Brian's car and off we go. Five minutes in the club and Dean ditches us both to go dancing, Brian gets himself and I each two well drinks, bourbon and coke... Now, Brian can drink like a fish and he's going through these drinks like he's eating a bag of potato chips.  Me, not so much anymore, he's drinking 3 to my 1, but of course he thinks I'm matching him drink for drink, thank God for large potted plants in the main hall of the club, they were extremely wet by the end off the night. We found a standing table in the main hall and Brian would make the drink runs while I waited.  None of the family would hang out with me there or even drop by to say much, they all knew that I was with Brian and they were all wondering why... it was probably around the third or fourth run for drinks, when Brian returned and he was acting very differently, he sat the drinks down on the table and looked at me.  Not glanced at me, he looked at me very deeply, then shook his head. I felt my stomach turn, my palms sweat, my head spin... I thought oh shit, he's gotten enough alcohol in him and he's about to trip out on me.

He fiddled with his drink and then shook his head... I was dreading, but preparing for the worst to come next.  I was ready to disappear if things went sideways, but he looked at me and smiled the most incredible, enduring smile.  He scooted around the small circular table and quietly told me Dean had gotten luckily and left with an older guy a couple of minutes ago. I figured ok, I'll find a ride home, but then he was like I'll get us another round. I thought were both already have two drinks in front of us, but he left.  He showed up with two more for each of us, and he began to really empty the table, drinking one after another. I tried to catch up and finished off mine as well... then when the drinks were nothing more than empty glasses, he nodded for me to follow him.  As any puppy would do, I followed obediently, trying to stay up with his pace. We exited the club and walked quietly towards his car, as we approached the car he told me he was ready for us to go home.  I climbed in and the drive was eerily quiet, as he exited the highway, the base was to the left and his apartment to the right. He headed the car right and I was probably the most confused I had ever been around Brian since knocking him on his ass that crazy morning that I lost my heart to him.

Brian pulled into his parking space and quietly we entered their apartment. He disappeared into his room and closed his bedroom door. I stood there, honestly scared of what was happening, or what to do. He returned to the living room about 5 minutes later, I was still standing by the door, he laughed... He told me to sit down, that he didn't bite... he then got serious, and told me, he'd take me back to base if I preferred. Then he walked over by me and told me that Dean didn't have to be here for us to visit with each other, I smiled and finally relaxed a little bit. I smiled, walked over and sat down on the couch, he took the chair next to me. The start of the conversation was strained but pleasent, then as we relaxed more, it became more and more normal as if we had visited multiple times, just like this, two old friends talking about anything and nothing.

Ten minutes in though, Brian began to pace about the room and looking at me as if he had no clue what to do with me... then a few minutes later, he blurts out the question, you know THE question! Would I sleep with him?? Holy fucking shit... what??? WTF???  Ok, I must be drunker than I thought, I thought he just ask me to go to bed with him.  I mean really, I've been crushing on him for so long and so hard... I'll just ignore what I wanted to think I heard come from his mouth. He stands there waiting for me to reply, reply to what, he didn't just ask me to go to bed with him, that's all in my head. So he ask THE QUESTION again! Wow, OMG, no he didn't, he didn't, no way in hell, really... he didn't just ask me twice in a row to sleep with him, not Brian...

Before I even knew what my mouth was doing, before my brain could interact with my tongue or lips... I told him NO... I told him you're drunk and horny and that no, I wouldn't get him off... then once again brain disconnect, I expressed how I really liked him and would love to sleep with him, but I was not going to get him off cause he wanted to cum... oh fuck, what did I just do.  He looked at me for a minute or two, then smiled and disappeared into the kitchen.  I sat there almost trembling, somewhat numb. What did I just do, the man of my dreams, the man of my many fantasies, this guy I was seriously crushing over, the one I would have done anything to be with... anything, so I thought, really anything to see, touch, hold, suck, this gorgeous man, the chance to please him... and I just said NO! I heard him clanging around in the kitchen, maybe if I jump up and run in there and tell him how much I would love to get him off and that I was sorry for what I said, he'd give me another chance and let me drop to my knees and take care of all his needs. But I was so scared and couldn't move.