I'm finding dating to be really hard. Despite my best efforts on the apps or in person, I don't get a lot of options. I live in Portland, and I don't get a lot of matches, which in itself is not a problem. I don't want anything to contribute to an inflated ego or have me turn into one of those dudes that match just to not answer. But 99% of the time, that's what I end up getting. The ones that do swipe right usually don't answer, so I just unmatch, or have no tact and open with sexual questions, which is an instant unmatch from me. It's so bad that I end up cycling through the same guys that I end up swipping left on multiple times. I've also gone to gay bars, and tried mingling, and casually approaching guys I was interested in, but I have really bad luck because each guy I asked already had boyfriends lol!

The reason i'm typing this though is because of what happened last Thursday. I signed up for a speed dating event which was scheduled way too early in the evening at 7pm and they wanted you to be there 1 minutes early. Not enough time to get home from work, bath, groom up and then drive downtown, but I somehow manage to do it because I skip dinner. I show up to the venue, and there a few no shows. The ones that did show up weren't my type. I almost left, but I decided to stay because I wanted to expand my horizons, and i'm natural at socializing. The first guy I met with was actually decent. He was bald, bearded, and had a nice blue polo shirt. Handsome, I want to say early 40's. We both recently got to the better part of our fitness goals, he was formally 260lbs where I was 220, and we were both exchanging fitness routines and other interests. Everyone else I had great conversations with as well, but they weren't options I was interested in. The event ended, and I sent my submission via text. This was basically like Tinder, but IRL. The next day I get an email with my reults. No matches. I'm not to phased by that experience in and of itself, but I just hate that there is so many limited options where I'm at. Being on reddit also sort of reinforces this as well. I put some posts on here every once in a while, and other than my physique transformation post, I don't get a lot of upvotes, which is okay. At the same time though, when you put all these things together, it just makes me question if I will ever find anyone that is genuinly interested in me that I am interested in. Can any of you guys relate?