At 22 years old, I was starting to get desperate. Most of my friends were married, some even had two kids already, and Tehilla was getting married next week. After her wedding, I’d be the sole single friend left. The pressure was insurmountable and I felt alone. In Lakewood, staying single is just not an option.

It wasn’t as if I weren’t doing anything about attempting to change my status from single to married. My mother took me to all the big shadchanim (at least the ones that would see us), I signed up for all the frum online dating services, went to some singles events, and went out with any boys who gave me a yes. But the dates were few and far between. Although I was a beautiful girl with a sexy figure, the shadchanim were reluctant to suggest any boys for one simple reason: my family has no financial means and we are not a rabbinical family either. Their shadchanus would be meager and their status would not be elevated. For this reason, we avoided the “designer” matchmakers.

But at 22, I was desperate enough to put myself out there and take the risk. I called rabbi dovid klien and tried to arrange a meeting. “Sara Friedman, no” he said in a condescending tone, “I just don’t have the time to meet with you” “Please?” I tried begging “I’m 22 and all my friends are married” But he had already hung up the phone. I’m not one to be defeated, but the next two prominent female shadchanim had the same reaction. I decided to call one last one before giving up; rabbi shimmy rothstein. This was a real stretch. As one of the most prominent shadchanim in Lakewood, I expected a lukewarm reception at best, but I needed to know I tried. “Rabbi rothstein, my name is Sara Friedman, you don’t know me, but I’m 22 and single, and I was wondering if there was any way you could maybe meet me?” “You know what? Yes. I actually can. But you have to come tomorrow morning at 9:30. I had a girl cancel because she just got engaged” “Thank you, thank you! I will be there” “Just don’t be late” he said and hung up the phone.

Overjoyed, I called the OT office where I worked and told them I could not make it in until around 11:00 the next day. I started planning my outfit, choosing a fitted white sweater with a sage green midi skirt that emphasized my perfect waist and 34D tits. I needed to show off all my assets. Yes I wanted a kollel boy, but I needed to show off my beauty and body. 9:30 couldn’t come soon enough.

I woke up the next morning, put on a skirt and sweatshirt and davened a heartfelt shachris before I got dressed. I pleaded with Hashem to please let this meeting work out and that he should help me find my bashert. Feeling uplifted and as though Hashem heard me, I went to go get dressed and do my makeup. For no real reason, I started with a push up bra and black lace panties. A good Bais Yaakov girl like me really shouldn’t own something like this but I once went shopping with my married friends and we ended up in Victoria’s Secret. They were buying such nice lingerie and I felt left out, so I bought a few nicer pairs of panties. I put on my sweater, skirt, and of course, stockings. I curled my medium brown thick hair and left it loose and long. Before slipping on my white loafers, I took a look in the mirror; I looked really good, fuckable like my one modern friend would say.

Rabbi rothstein lived in a development on the other side of town. After fighting through traffic for 30 minutes, I arrived just in the nick of time. I quickly swiped on some sheer lip gloss and ran out of the car. Heart pounding, I rang the bell. About 45 seconds later, he answered the door. Rabbi rothstein was probably in his mid forties, about 5”10, not thin but far from fat, a face beard, and jet black hair. He smiled and told me to come inside.

We went into his office and started talking.

“So tell me Sara, what are you looking for” he started

“I’d really like a long term learner. Someone with proper middos, a real love of yiddishkeit, a Baal chessed” I said with my eyes glowing. “I can support. I’m an OT, I have savings and I work hard. I’ve been saving for the zechus of kollel”

“That’s really special Sara and you seem like a beautiful and lovely young lady” he responded immediately. “Let’s say I do make your shidduch or even set you up, I usually expect a little something. What would your family be able to give me?”

“I don’t know. My parents work very hard but we are not wealthy at all. I’m sure we could scrape together something and I could add too” I told him nervously

“No. You need to save your money for your kollel husband. But I’m sure a pretty and resourceful girl like yourself can think of something else a man might want”

I panicked internally. While I was yeshivish, my friends were all married and I was pretty sure he had just alluded to sexual favors. How could I? I had never touched a guy I wasn’t related to. But then again, maybe it was the trade off. Maybe this was how 22 year old yeshivish girls got to find their basherts. This wasn’t exactly something people would advertise, but I was desperate and he had agreed to meet me. Surely I could do it. No one would know. I took the bait.

“Well yes…there are other things a man would want. I’m pretty sure of that. But I’m a good girl”

“Good girls are the best girls. They don’t talk. But if you want me to set you up, you need to show me a little of what my shadchanus will be like” he said winking at me

He stood up and came around the desk to where there was a second chair. I knew what I needed to do. I unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock. It was big and already erect. My outfit had worked.

“If you’re going to do this Sara, I suggest you show me a bit more of yourself”

I stood up and took my sweater off. Blushing a deep shade of red, he reached out and touched the top of my tits. This was so wrong, but it was just a means to an end.

“I’ve never done this before rabbi rothstein” “Don’t worry, you just need to stroke me today. Just make your hand tight and go in an up and down motion”

He leaned over and undid my bra. I was even more embarrassed but I do have nice boobs. I started to follow his instructions and he leaned back and started moaning. I tried not to think about what I was doing. Up and down, up and down. It’s just a cock. I’m just pleasuring a good rav. He’s going to set me up because of this. Up and down. Rabbi rothstein moaned “yes Sara, keep it up, I’m going to cum soon”

Cum? Oh no. What’s that? I needed to stay calm. It’s probably not a big deal, probably just the end of my hard work. It didn’t take long for me to find out. A second later his cock exploded and thick white cum landed all over my tits.

“Oh Sara” he moaned as he came “I will absolutely set you up and make your shidduch”

I cleaned myself off with a baby wipe and he told me I’d have a date within the week. He was right. By the following Sunday, avi, a 26 year old BMG guy picked me up. We hit it off and went out five more times over two and half weeks before he proposed to me. I was finally an engaged girl to the boy of my dreams, but now I had to pay up. I owed rabbi rothstein his huge shadchanus, my virginity.

I put on my nicest underwear I owned this time. I had just started taking birth control for the wedding so I wouldn’t get pregnant, but I had to let him fuck me. Avi was my love but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. He’d never know what I needed to do, but I followed through on all my promises. On a Wednesday morning, as agreed with by rabbi rothstein, I showed up at his house. His wife was out of town and we were going to fuck hard. My first time, with a rav.

He held my hand and led me upstairs to the bedroom. As soon as I walked in, I realized his wife was currently a niddah as the beds were separated. This was going to be a desperate sex session. He started to kiss me, my first kiss ever.

“You’re so beautiful sara, avi is a very lucky man to have you for the rest of his life, but today, you’re mine. While you are paying me shadchanus, I am going to teach you skills on how to be a good wife”

Kissing me again, he began to take off my top. I started to slide out of my skirt. I was standing in rabbi rothsteins bedroom in a lace bra, lace panties, and stockings. He was still dressed. I started to help him unbutton his shirt and he stroked my hair while I did this. His shirt came off and he threw it on his bed. I helped him out of his tzitzis and undershirt. Those two got dumped in the pile of clothing.

“Sara, I’m going to fuck you on my wife’s bed. She’s a niddah now but we haven’t fucked in three weeks. She was busy with her schools shabbaton and now their graduation trip. I’m pent up and I we are going to fuck hard” he whispered into my ear “let me take over from here”

Rabbi rothstein ripped off my stockings and told me I’ll take a pair of his wife’s when I leave. He unhooked my bra and pulled it off. Each of tits popped out with their nipples erect. He caressed and sucked each one. I moaned because it felt so good. He undid his pants, pulled off his boxer and his cock came out.

“Take me in your mouth and suck me”

WHAT?!?!? I’m putting a dick in my mouth? No no no. But I was in no position to argue, I owed him avi. Like a good girl, I slid to the edge of the bed and took his cock in my mouth and sucked. It didn’t taste nearly as bad as I expected it to and I discovered that I liked the sensation of having my mouth filled. Once I found a good sucking pace and rhythm, he grabbed my hair and rammed his huge cock to the back of my throat. I gagged and almost threw up but he didn’t stop. He kept going hearing me gasp and just pumping my throat. After a minute or so he pulled out and let me breathe. I was pretty sure my pussy was going to be used next. He slipped off my underwear and now I was naked on his wife’s bed. He left for a moment and returned with a towel.

“You’re a virgin Sara, right?” “Yes, I’ve never been with a man before” “We need the towels in case you bleed” “Of course, I understand”

He kissed me hard again and continued kissing me down my neck stopping at my tits. He sucked on them, nice and hard, it felt so good and I felt my own pussy get nice and wet, ready for him to penetrate me with all eight inches of himself. I moaned. This was so good. He kissed down my belly and reached my pussy. I realized I had forgotten to get a waxing and I apologized. He laughed and told me his wife has a full bush and my young trimmed one is just so much nicer. He licked my clit and shuddered. God it felt so fucking good. I started to enjoy giving him this shadchanus as well. He sucked and licked over and over, my pussy getting wetter and wetter. I knew i was going to cum too.

“Rabbi rothstein, I’m going to cum” I moaned

He stopped sucking and took his giant cock and rammed it into me. It hurt just a little but as he started to thrust back and forth it felt so good. Now I was really going to cum. He kept going throughout my orgasm. My back arched and my muscles tightened. About a minute later he came too, collapsed on top of me panting, filling me with his thick white cum. He rolled off of me and kissed me again.

“You’re so much better than my wife is Sara, you have no idea”

I blushed. He knew I enjoyed myself too.

“You are paid in full Sara, this is the best shadchanus I have ever received. I’d take you again but that would mean I need to find you another boy” he said laughing at his own dumb joke

He handed me my clothes back and we kissed one more time both knowing that when we leave the bedroom, this never happened.