Hi! I'm Kayla! I just joined Reddit (now going on 7 months) just to post a personal. I'm a polyamorous, fat, 28, non-switching Femdom. I'm looking for a submissive partner (with an emphasis on "partner" side of things) from someone local-ish to the Ohio area in the US. You do not necessarily have to be in Ohio if you have a way to manage/deal/overcome the distance. I'm looking for someone who identifies as a submissive/bottom/etc. I am not looking for anything online-only.

Who Am I?

Personality-wise, I'm a sarcastic, pessimistic human who's way too logical and spends way too much time working. Conversation-wise, I really value great conversation, and as you might be able to tell, I really value proper English (or at least an attempt at such). I don't have a ton of free time, but I always make time for what's important to me.

Lately, that has been various personal projects (like buying stuff for my someday dungeon space), working out, buying too much Starbucks, investing, reading, interior design and organizing, listening to BDSM educational podcasts, trying new craft beers, writing erotica, attending online BDSM classes, and the occasional video game with friends. I'm passionate about learning new things and exploring new ideas/kinks/hobbies, and you'll usually catch me torn in 20 different shiny-looking directions. Work takes up most of my waking hours (keeping me grounded, honestly, and in comfortable living) and the rest of my hours tend to go to kink/sex things; I try to fill in bonus hobbies around that.

(I'm working on making a BDSM contract and Butler Book with my wants, needs, desires, and protocols for any upcoming femdom relationship I might end up getting into. It's really nice to see my "ideal" relationship get so flushed out - and it's a pretty fun document to explore more things about myself and my idea of power exchange relationships too.)

What I Love

In a partner and submissive, I really value someone who is intrinsically motivated and constantly curious and wanting to learn. If you're regularly able to say "I'm bored", we probably won't be a great fit. There's *so* much in the world to explore and learn; how can you be bored? I tend to fit best with someone who's open to more hardcore kinks and edgeplay. I'm constantly exploring and learning new kinks and new ways to play, and I love to explore that with my partner. Especially if you're new, though, I'm not against taking things slowly if you think rougher kinks *might* be for you but you aren't sure.

I'm especially into s-types who are intrinsically motivated and take their own education seriously. I spend 5-10 hours every week improving my abilities as a Domme; I expect any partner I play with to take their own development just as seriously. I'm open to paying for their kink education down the line if it's something I request, but there are lots of free resources online that don't consist of Reddit threads and porn videos.

In particular, my favorite kinks include: vulnerability, intense emotions, behavioral modification, rope bondage, long-distance control, public play, pee play, pegging, omorashi, bathroom use control, orgasm control and denial, edging, high protocol, rituals, "training" sessions. My kinks extend well-beyond that, though, but these are the "tried and true" I regularly include or come back to. Ideally, being open to all of these kinks is what I'm seeking, but I'm open to discussion around it all. My top-three kinks from that include public play, omorashi, and "training" regiments. I am not looking for anything online-only.

I'd really like someone who's open to sexual contact with another penis-owning sub (because hot!) in addition to myself. You don't need to identify as bisexual, but being open to that contact and seeing where it leads is definitely ideal for me.

My Power Exchange Style

In case it isn't obvious, I'm a very reasonable Domme who isn't going to punish you for forgetting a protocol when work is stressing you out. (We're all human after all). I enjoy collaborative power exchange (where we both are working towards the goal of a sexy, happy relationship). I want our relationship and power exchange to make you a better person - and certainly one who has way better orgasms. I'm a badass at most kinks (honestly), and I own enough toys to keep you busy for years. ;)

Ideally, I'd like to have a power exchange relationship that extends beyond the bedroom - if even casually. But I'm open to bedroom-only if the connection is there.

Wishlist

Those with a thinner bodyframe tend to tick my boxes the most, but again, not a dealbreaker. Age (aside from "legal") isn't important - but keep in mind that I'm not super into video game conversations, memes, emojis (emoticons are fine!), YouTube, video game streaming or current trends.

Recently, I find that I have a ton of amazing kinky tasks, fetish ideas, and power exchange schedules but don't have a partner with enough time to actually get to breathe life into any of those ideas. Some who has regular available time is ideal for me at this point.

Hey - Reach Out!

I'm looking for more than just casual play, and we won't even reach the point of meeting up unless you put in some effort to our online conversation - especially in the COVID times where meeting up has some pretty serious risks. Expect at least two weeks of regular online communication before we'd arrange a socially-distant hang-out - and that's only if we hit it off like soulmates from the get-go.

I like a back-and-forth conversation that feels natural. If all you have to say is "Ask me anything you want, I'm an open book", it's probably not going to go anywhere. I've given you paragraphs upon paragraphs to mold conversation topics; please use them. I'm motivated to meet up and find someone, but I'm also not desperate.

If you want to catch my attention, paying attention to my personals ad (and how much I put into it) and responding in kind is your best shot.

• Lazy, terrified of me, or just want inspiration? Answer any of these questions - AND ask some of your own:

• What's the last thing you really threw yourself into learning? Maybe it's the last new hobby you learned?

• What's your idea of how to involve power exchange within a first date?

• How do you figure out what your hard limits are? How would you handle finding out a new, unexpected "limit" mid-scene?

• How have you been educating yourself about kink - especially if you're new?

• What steps are you taking to keep yourself (and others!) safe during COVID?

• Have you learned anything interesting/new about yourself while you've been social distancing?

• What's something awesome you think I should know or learn about?

Double-check your response before you send it. If you've spent more time talking about sex and kink than anything vanilla, it probably means you should redo it. Sex and kink are my favorite subjects to discuss (honestly), but I've mostly found that attempting to discuss them early-on with any person who identifies as male usually ends up with them thinking I'm attempting to arouse them or do some sort of sexting with them.

Then We'll Chat

If we seem to have some mutual interest, we'll likely take our conversation to Discord or Fetlife messaging. I'm finding Reddit's messaging system, with its disjointed conversations and virtually no way to easily look into history of messages, is making it hard to really take conversations in-depth. But with how many people stop responding when they realize I'm not going to play with them after day 1, I'm not interested in taking things off Reddit until I'm sure there's a mutual interest in doing so.

I am not looking for anything online-only.