Since I get asked this a lot, a munch is a gathering of kinky people in a vanilla venue (usually a pub if you're in the UK). No play is allowed - it's just a way to meet your local community and make kinky friends. It usually feels quite intimidating going for the first time (though I can assure you, once you're there the people are usually lovely), so I wanted to help people dip their toes in when it comes to exploring the local irl kink scene.

I've done this a couple of times before and made a good friend or two out of it, so why not keep going?

I started going to munches in London in late 2019 (terrible timing, I know), but barring the lockdown I've been to as many as I can since. I've made a decent group of friends in that time, and am just starting to explore events where actual play happens (though I have some nerves to get over in that area). As a result, I've been thinking back to how nervous I was before my first munch & how long it took me to work up the courage because I had no idea what to expect & was scared of showing up without a friend or something. I've never been the most confident person socially, but hey, I'm working on it.

With that in mind though, and given the fact that I understand the position plenty of people are in before they go to their first much (talking themselves out of going, taking any excuse to put it off until next time because of the nerves, etc.), I figured I might be able to help reassure someone and at least introduce them to some people around their age (which, depending on the munch in question, I'll hopefully be able to do).

Essentially I'm happy to:

• Talk generally before the munch so you can get to know me a bit, if that would help make you more comfortable

• Talk to you about your worries & about what to expect at the munch.

• Introduce you to people I know, to help get you around the feeling of awkwardness I experienced when it felt like everyone already knew each other & was talking in groups (if that's something you're worried about). Hopefully this will also help you make kinky friends around your age :)

• If possible, reassure you or help you find ways to deal with any other worries you might have.

• Alternatively, if you want to go on your own, but want a backup plan in case you get nervous, that can definitely happen too

What I ask of you:

• Please be between 18 and 30. The upper limit is because a number of the munches I attend are age-restricted, and because the vast majority of the people I could introduce you to are also around this age.

• Please be coming to a munch for the right reasons. If you're just there looking for a partner, don't bother. A munch is a social gathering of people with a shared interest. It's a good place to make friends (who just so happen to be kinky); get recommendations for resources, events and other such things; get warnings about other people in the community who you should avoid (though please take proper care yourself as well - do not rely on others to know whether someone is safe or not); have a good time; and maybe find a partner - but the latter should not be your focus when you go.

• Please be capable of basic human respect. It's sad that I even have to write this, but very occasionally people show up at munches who genuinely believe subs to be below dom(mes) or vice versa. This is, to put it mildly, utter bullshit. Similarly, if you don't understand & respect the principles of consent, please don't come.

• Read the munch rules. Fortunately most people seem to manage this just fine, but it's worth stating nonetheless.

Honestly none of the above are particularly complicated, so if you are capable of all of those things & are worried about the idea of attending your first munch as I was, feel free to send me a message & we'll talk about it. Also, let me know if there are munch(es) you're interested in. There are a few that I try to attend regularly, but depending on what other munches you want to go to I may or may not be able to get to them as well.

TL;DR: If you're a decent person between the ages of 18 & 30 but are nervous about going to your first munch in London, I'll do what I can to help you out. There's a lot of fun to be had, a lot of potential friends to meet, and a lot of learning to do - it's definitely worth it.